“”Phillip & Franklin are a bit better.” “(c) 2016 by kerasotes

Today I went to my real doctor and my real nurse and she told me that I was doing much better today.  My Doctor was Pleased.   I told him that Phillip & I were trying to Integrate and that it might be in two days.  I wanted it today.  I think it will happen tomorrow.  It was nice to be able to tell the doctor who has saved our lives for two or so years.  While there Mr. Mayo of Culver called to tell me he was back from an 8 day Vacation.  He wanted to know about my health.  I told him I was at my doctors with my nurse but we could talk.  He wanted me to know that he’d gotten my two thank you phone calls for his nice letters.  They were really beautiful and kind and nice.  He said he would call tomorrow to find out about my health.  This man is so wonderful it is precious to me so I write this here for that.  I really didn’t think I would make it this far.  I told the receptionist who is new all about the eating of the bad Snoqualmie Ice Creams that were recalled because they has listeria in them and the 2 week death sentence we got January 20th say 2015.  I think I did her in but she was pleased to know that and that’s why I have been coming to see this doctor every month.  I had written a note which I tried to read to Marge my nurse and explain how all the doctors had predicted our deaths and how I had survived and how amazing that was.  I do not think though that I will last much longer for the 8 cancers are eating me away.  I am in such pain and misery and the horror of watching your body fall apart especially when you have been misdiagnosed by a person who was told what to do by his teammate and my psychiatrist.  He re-diagnosed me incorrectly as a schizophrenic.  I told him I was done in by this for my doctor was a Ph. D. and He was only an M.A.  and not a doctor nor someone who knew anything about multi-personalities or dissociation.  He has betrayed me and called the police on me and has not sent the paperwork to terminate his services.  I have the State’s Ombuds working on it to get me a new real psychiatrist to treat me and help me through all this and the cancers.   I called his office yesterday and left a new message about it and hopefully by Friday, the papers will come.  I found that because of his misdiagnosis, I nearly died.  The medicines they prescribed me were for schizophrenics and when you are a multi-personality you cannot have that disease.  I did my research and my homework at our Library and with my doctors and Michael’s.  So I told all this to my nurse today and the receptionist and Marge put it in my chart and told my doctor.  He was pleased today that I was doing so well.  I found this exciting and nice and the surprising thing was that he grows Italian Plums and other Plums that are really very good but I do not like them.  I told him about them and his orchids but he does not do orchids – I guess those were Carol’s his old receptionist.  I told the new receptionist to tell here hello from me and she will.  She still pops in Lucia and will get the message.   Then I went to Michael and Jayson’s Bartells in Lynnwood to refill my scripts and decided while waiting to go to their Safeway.  That store has the cheapest prices for every thing including steaks for like 6 bucks instead of 18 at QFC and sandwiches that are paninis that are served hot.  The Swiss cheese melted nicely and the hams were hot.  The Panini Bread was delicious.  I asked the ladies at Bartells if I could eat my sandwich while I waited for my scripts to be filled.   They made small talk that was fun and interesting and really delightful.  So I ate the wonderful sandwich there.  Got my medicines.  Took them for they have water machines there which is nice and left.  I got home and relaxed and decided to come down and write.  I will post this on Facebook as well.  Thank you all for wishing me luck with all this.  I will let you know how it comes out.  Kindest of regards, me, Franklin for us.  There Michael, I’ve written it.  I have even written Culver about Michael and his 53 personalities and they understand.  That was amazingly nice.  Mr. Mayo of Culver will call me tomorrow about my health and the new display they are making for Michael’s Collection that I finished this year for him.  He gets a brand new display built in the new Roberts Hall of Science at Culver Academies in Indiana.  Their Head and Chair of their Science Department is very excited about it.  That’s what Mr. Mayo told me, kids.   

Until then, I shall remain here and will then let you all know how it came out.  

“”Phillip & Franklin are having a hard day!” “(c) 2016 by kerasotes

The two of us are having a hard time.  It is because of all the horrible things that have happened to us since we’ve been alone here together.  I am trying to get him to integrate but it isn’t working.  I spent the day watching movies that Michael would play for him and trying to keep him calm and quiet.  I am able to do this for a while.  It is the most difficult when it comes to going to bed at night and trying to sleep.  So, I am going to try again tonight to go to bed early and sleep.  I hope to get him to sleep as well.  I used to be able to do this.  I haven’t been successful of late and it is because I am hurt and sad and mad.  So I have been trying to be kind and a friend and work that way like the book said to do.  Tomorrow is the doctor and I’ve got no problems with that.  He knows us and all about everything and I’ve kept him and his nurse and receptionist advised of all that has happened like Michael taught me to do.  It is best being honest with your doctors and Michael said to tell them everything and never to hid anything nor lie about it.  Michael could do this.  Mike could. And the me was really good at it.  Me, I think I am doing well with it but I want this battle over integration over with so my body can rest and recover.  It would be best that way.  We all agreed to this once upon a time and Michael said I would win.  So I apologized to my brain, my mind, my body and him and told him I forgave him like Michael would to help him feel better.  I don’t think it is working with me.  I’m different than Michael.  I was made without love and hate and I don’t have prejudices and judgments like he does.  I told him about this to help him remember what he and Michael and all the others before me learned before I got here.  Maybe I am doing some good for he has been quiet at times without my help.  He wanted me to write about him doing something good so there Phillip, there.

I will let you know how it goes for I want to be able to tell the doctor tomorrow that I am finally integrated and alone here.  I would like that very much.  I had hope by today it would all be over.    So I told him I have to protect this body, this brain, this mind and me from him and began setting barriers and blocks and things not triggers to counter him and keep him from invading me.  That is working better today.  I have had some moments where he blacks out and tries to take me away but I tell him no and to go away.  This works.  

Wish me luck folks.

thanks, me Franklin.

“”I had a chance at Life… .” “(c) 2016 by kerasotes””

I had a chance at Life… .  I did.  But the thing won’t let me be here alone.  I am sore and tired and hurting and have nothing to do for I can’t read and I can’t watch a movie on TV.  I tried and tried to tell him to be good and kind and leave like he agreed to do but he took my chance at life and threw it away to be mean and cruel like he did to Michael Mike and the Me and all the rest of us.  He acts like a guilty child and talks that way now.  No adult voices, no adult talk.  The rest of his noises and voices are just repetitive stuffs.  They make no sense and he never really stops them to feel better like he was told to do.  So what am I to do, what am I to do… . I am going to keep trying to make it.

“”The Thing tried to hurt me yesterday…” “(c) 2016 by kerasotes””

“The Thing” tried to hurt me yesterday.  The Thing is what is left of the personality or alter without a personality.  I know it is dying and has been since January this year.  Cruelty is dead.  I can tell.  I thought I ought to put that in here.  The Phillip and the Philip died last month.  Cruelty died this month.  So all that is left is what Michael called “The Thing”  all the rest of him is dead.  And The Thing is dying as well.  He should leave before he dies.  That way I will have a chance at living the life Michael wanted before they all killed him years ago.  He cannot integrate the Mike after Michael died said.  And The Me said so too before he left last October.  So He’s been dying for quite some time for Michael said he was and so were the others for staying too long.  

I hope he dies today or decides to leave now and let me have the chance I was given this body for last October by the Me.  The other part is that in all these falls and losing of my food is his fault and his pain and his dying that is doing it and not me.  I hope that is clear.  

And to let you know that was Wednesday, 17 August 2016.  

I got myself to my bed and tried to rest and blacked out for about 24 hours.

Then I called my nurse and my therapist friend Nancy and they said to call 911 and have them take me to the hospital so I did.  I have been out of the hospital for two days now.

The doctors at the hospital were nice and cat scanned and x-rayed me and let me go.  

I cannot believe there were no broken bones.  But there are none.

Then the other horror of it was passed or blacked out while I was trying to wash my dishes and they all broke.  It was an awful mess but I cleaned it up.  It makes me sick to write this but I am.  There was a bad fall or several on the floor at the sink and I showed that to the 911 people and they understood.  I cleaned it up today and scrubbed all the floors and sinks and stuffs.  I thought you’d like to know that I have re-edited this to reflect all the horrors and things I have been through because The Thing won’t leave and let me have this body alone like it agreed and all agreed to do last year.

I keep getting dizzy, they say that is the badly contused brain and the concussion. 

One more thing, I can now keep my food and liquids in.  I kept my food in yesterday and today so far.  I didn’t eat much for they said to eat small amounts.

I called my doctor and nurse and will call again on Monday.  I’ve left a message about the latest fall with my doctor’s answering service.  They said to call after 11 a.m. on Monday.    

I want my chance to get this body well like we all agreed.  I want my chance.  I have cured it of one cancer or my doctor did and he said I could live with the other ones and the pollens and the other listeria’s  and I want my chance like we all agreed.  

“”the further disaster …” ” (c) 2016 by kerasotes””

The future desire is Life – why do i want it with a thing that will destroy it?  why?  I have my answer.  It does not know.  I know why.  I have my own thoughts and no one not even The Precious Michael Could Read Them.. .  .  .  How about that.  

I have given it an ultimatum and it hates those.  I win.  No way out for it but DEATH!  It is Useless and  its death is not and It Knows it.  More is the pity as Michael would say….. 

“”My Disaster… “(c) copyright 2016″”

I went to sunrise only to be told by my last therapist the girl that she remembered nothing of the hour conversation with the ph. d of dissociation and i just left and took the bus home as there was no point in continuing with a set of people who blatantly forgot my treatment plan to diagnose one of their own which a multi personality cannot have – a schizophrenic.  awful.  i said.  you cannot have Dr Jeckle and Mr Hyde schizophrenia when you have over 50 personalities, people.  So I am done with them and cancelled all point rest of the days appointments – even the one in Mount lake Terrace especially.  For he’s the one who violated my agreement with them and diagnosed me as a schizophrenic.  and impossibility .  So that is that on my little story to get well folks.  what a horrid example of people who violated my trust and arrangement.  I can’t wait till the Ombuds gets to that !!!!!!!!!