“”DEAR WORLD:  I AM IN A QUANDRY TODAY.  I WAS WONDERING HOW TO ACCEPT MY FATE AND WHETHER I BELIEVED I WAS ACCEPTING IT WELL OR NOT.  I WAS TOLD I AM DYING BY THE SNOQUALMIE PEOPLE AND THE QFC DOCTOR.  I BELIEVE I AM.  IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH?  I DON’ KNOW.  I THINK NOT.  I THINK THERE IS MORE TO ACCEPTING DEATH THAN JUST BELIEVING IN IT.  IS THAT TRUE?  I MEAN THERE ARE OTHER REASONS THAT GO ALONG WITH IT.  FOR EXAMPLE THERE IS THE FEELING THAT YOU ARE TIRED AND WORN OUT AND THE WAY YOU THINK YOU LOOK TO OTHERS AND THE WAY YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR AND THE WAY YOU SEE YOURSELF IN PERSON WITHOUT THE MIRROR’S REFLECTION.  WHAT ABOUT THAT?  WHAT ABOUT THAT?  THEN THERE ARE THE WORDS OF OTHERS THAT SAY YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL TODAY OR YOU LOOK NICE OR GOOD THIS MORNING.  WHAT ABOUT THEM?  THEN THERE IS THE TERRIBLE SIDE OF IT AND I MEAN IT IS TERRIBLE.  MY OWN DOCTOR RULYAK SAID I AM DYING AND HE KNOWS THAT FOR A FACT.  I MIGHT NOT MAKE IT THROUGH ALL MY TESTS. GADS.  SO HOW DO YOU END UP HERE WITH ME HE ASKED AND I SAID MY DOCTOR KIM RECOMMENDED YOU AND I HAD TO WAIT TWO WEEKS FOR THE NOTICE AND PHONE CALLS TO COME IN.  WELL GOOD, I’M GLAD YOU ARE HERE SON.  IT IS A PITY YOU ARE SO SICK AND SO TIRED AND SO WORN AND SO DRAWN.  I CAN SEE THIS IN YOUR EYES AND YOUR FACE AND ON YOUR HANDS ARE THE BUMPS AND RASHES OF CHRONE’S AND HUME’S DISEASES COMBINED AND THAT MUST BE HOW THE LISTERIA LEFT YOUR BODY AS TWO IF NOT THREE DEADLY INFECTED DISEASES THAT ARE NOT CONTAGIOUS BUT DEADLY AND KILLERS AND YOU PROBABLY HAVE THE THIRD THAT DOES NOT GO ALONG WITH THEM BUT FROM YOUR DISCRIPTIONS SOUNDS LIKE IRRITABLE BOWEL SYMDROME AND THAT IS DEADLY AND A KILLER TOO.  AWFUL SON JUST AWFUL.  AND THESE BUMPS THAT APPEAR AND DISAPPEAR AND BREAK OUT ARE THEY ALL OVER YOU?  I SAID YES SIR.  HE SAID THAT’S IT THEN, WE WILL GO AHEAD AND SCHEDULE ALL THE TESTS FOR YOU.  I SEE THAT YOU ARE ALREADY FAMILIAR WITH SOME OF THEM…. AND I WILL STOP HERE WITH THAT.  SO DEATH IS NEAR ME AND DEATH IS MY FRIEND AND I THINK NOT FOR HOW CAN DEATH BE A FRIEND WHEN HE TAKES YOUR LIFE AWAY?  I MEAN REALLY GOD, HOW CAN DEATH BE MY FRIEND TODAY?  COULD HE BE THAT TERRY PRACHETT BILL DOOR OF THE HOGFATHER BOOK AND MOVIE?  HIM I LIKED AND HIM HE WAS FUN AND HIM HE WAS COOL AND NICE AND NEAT BUT DEATH IS NOT COOL AND NOT NEAT AND NOT NICE TO ME HERE AND NOW SIR.  SO WHAT IS DEATH LIKE?  WHEN DOES IT COME?  HOW DOES IT TAKE YOU AND IS IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?  IS DEATH NICE OR FORTUNATE?  IS DEATH SOMETHING I WANT?  I SAY NO.  I SAY NO.  FOR I WANT MY LIFE AND I WANT IT NOW AND I CANNOT HAVE IT FOREVER SIR.  SO DEAR GOD AND DEATH GIVE ME ANOTHER FEW WEEKS AND A DAY TO COMPLETE THIS LAST TEST.  OKAY.  AND NOW I RESIGN MYSELF TO IT AND TO YOU ALL A GOOD AND GREAT DAY!” “Copyright (c) 2015 by kerasotes”

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