“”I’d like to write about death and dying, I’d like to write it out here for me.” “Copyright (c) 2015 by me kerasotes””

“”I’d like to write about death and dying, I’d like to write it out here for me.  I am having great difficulty with this and I am having a hard time feeling my body fall apart from the diseases my doctor told me I have from eating the wonderful ice creams last year that were recalled the day before Christmas when the Snoqualmie people called me up at home.  Some days the pain or pains are hot are hard are extreme; some days they are unbearable; some days are not that bad; some days like today are like I don’t feel good and I get this feeling I won’t make it through the day.  So I thought I’d write to myself on here and get it off my chest.  I think, Michael, I got used to pain and you said one never does.  I think I got used to horror and Mike you said no one does.  I feel these things constantly and simply carry on.  I want to make it to the next appointment for the tests my doctor wants.  I know three places told me I was dying.  Snoqualmie in California.  QFC on Broadway here in Everett did the same.  Seattle’s Polyclinic doctor confirmed it.  That’s three places, three peoples, three times I heard it told.  That’s hard – that’s hard – that’s hard to take.  I keep trying to prepare myself for death.  I do.  I think of it silently alone without voice or sound or picture.  I do this for myself.  I do it because I care about me.  I do this for me myself.  I am having great difficulty today.  Now I have that out.  Perhaps there is no tomorrow.  Perhaps there is no more today.  That I have in my mind and I realize that now.  The What If’s are there as well.  It all hurts.  It all hurts.
Thank you wordpress.com for letting me write this here.  Thank you everybody else.  Thank you.
Kindest regards, me
It is March 13th, 2015 at 5:14 p.m. a Friday Afternoon”
“Copyright (c) 2015 by me kerasotes””


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