i got my box from the post office today. it is for my 3rd gift to Culver Academies. it was free. tomorrow i mail it out. i wrote a note for tom the culver fund director about what i put in it. i put the star i discovered in april 2003 and that the united states patent office called me about saying it was the most important discovery of the year (2013). I print the picture out in color of my mike the purple star and my notes on him in b&w. I put in the wiki page elena salvatore made for me in december 2009. i’ve finished editing it. but since he liked and said so to me, i thought it might look good in the exhibit case in the science department that he said my rocks were going to placed. the printer at the main library here in everett really prints out nice color. i told them so and thanks. so i started taping up the box and i have yet to put all my labels in the bags with the stones and rocks and petrified trees and branches and things like the emeralds, rubies, sapphires, diamonds and other precious stones and semiprecious stones and crystals from mt rainier and from other mines and places and the meteor i got at the attic treasures. all these things were approved. i have a note or email from tom saying so.
then i think i’ve had it. i don’t think i can fight these diseases and cancers any more. i know my doctor brown cured me of the prostate cancers but he lied as i called him upon it the wednesday before radiation was over. so that leaves like 7 cancers and the 88+ listeria diseases from eating bad ice cream. i’m tired. i’m worn. in fact, i am worn out. i have battled myself to death. i have battled with the last fractured piece of personality that’s left and i can smell death upon and in me. boy, dehollander is that awful. [mrs dehollander was michael’s friend from down his lane in springfield on the lake down east hazel dell lane, lake springfield zone 7.]
my pain pills don’t work anymore. i have a few left – like 5. i am going to take my meds when i get upstairs and go to bed. i will probably wake up at 3 a.m. and be upset that phillip didn’t leave. i have had it with his threats. i have had it with his cruelty. i have had it with his hate. hate hurt harm and horror were what michael called him when the kids were still alive in magnolia seattle washington. phillip was born on thanksgiving day 1955 at dinner at 8 p.m. i told him today. i thought he’d like to know and remember it for i got it from him the day i asked for his memories and he gave them to me as did all the rest who were a part of the god complex system personality; who were a part of the system personality that ran the body and such; and who were a part of ‘The You’ that my father creator “Him” & his father creator “Mother the I” ran. They ran God. They ran the system. They ran the you. Mother the I created phillip that day or rather night because she was busy fighting Him and He. Michael needed help from Marge and George and so mother made phillip. There, now you know.
i’ve had it with typos.
i’ve had it with you.
i’ve had it because you broke your word and your promise to us all phillip. you are dying and have been since patrick called. and such a pain and horror it is to feel and watch and hear and listen to you and as michael said all the other senses included seeing you die. it is miserable. you are lost and i can no longer help or save you. i can’t keep you alive any more. i told so the first day, now i tell you now. you either integrate or leave or die just like michael said and everybody else that’s gone even you and me said. so, i tire of typing and must go.
tomorrow is 2 weeks after radiation is over. i don’t know if my doctor will call me or not. patrick called today. it has been over a month since i last talked to him and i am hurt that he was in his car driving and not really listening to me. so he asked me to come see him at one tomorrow.
everyone and everything thank you.
8 feb 2016 at 5:56 p.m. on this nice hp machine. good night all.