“SO I BATTLE ON ……………..” by kerasotes
Today was another one of those days. There was one major part that was quite rewarding and that was when i got to tell Steve Ahern, the President of the Everett Senior Center Foundation that my friend’s [Jim Ray] Raynier Institute and Foundation would consider granting them money in September and/or better yet October. 2016, and i sent him off an email with the Thank you I will consider this and try to help you and your causes from dear Ed Gardner who runs the Foundation of Jim Ray’s and then called his friend Nancy Fischer who will call him and let him know. I forwarded my friend’s web site address and the people to contact regarding the grant or gift and even if it started with $5,000 they could invest that and go from there and to keep trying for that million. Then I fought and fought and fought with Phillip/Cruelty and managed to fall asleep a couple of times this afternoon. He knows he can’t be here and i can’t train him to be the one who can run this body and take care of it when all he’s interested in is being a 5 year old child as an adult and has scattered himself all over systems that are dead and tries to run them to no avail. This hurts as Michael said and i think he did try to quiet his voices but then so did i. I am tired of this awful war that never had to be. He knew he couldn’t be here and has no purpose to be here and all. So I am worn out again and going up to eat. I can’t even cry today.
Tuesday will be the 8th week out of radiation and then when i get to my new doctor on next thursday and tell her all the things i need and need to do and what she has to check like the bone cancer and to do the gamma radiation to make sure they got all the cancers and listeria diseases and pollen diseases that my Dr. Aaron Brown promised me he’d done and i think it is all a lie, but onward i must go and with hope that i can get all 7 other cancers and 88 to 100 other diseases cured and have the medicines i need for the pain etceteras and so forth and so on.
And of course i have not heard from my case manager about my new therapist and that is disappointing. Oh Well. What’s A Body To Do Michael, what’s a body to do? I know, i know, i know. and i know what to do.
I am feeling a bit better and with all the important and fun things that I have done this month alone, it has been worth it. Please just bear with me while i struggle through this next part of getting well and making Michael’s dream come true.
March 18, 2016 Friday Evening.