“first day of the new month” by kerasotes

first day of the new month

today is the first day of the month.  it is april 1, 2016.  that is April The First 2016!  April Fool’s Day!  it is sunny now and warm.  not like florida and 85 degrees.  anyway, what i wanted to put out was this.  i have battled and battled and battled and battled and battled.  phillip finally realized that i was right and he wrong and that voices were stupid and not good – not good because they were the worst pain Michael said.  and he’s right.  phillip has realized this.  that is amazing.  we are at a point where i can help him not hurt.  i have learned that, i have.  i have learnt it good.  phillip even says so and that’s something.  i have known phillip since i was made.  i was made to rid this world of him.  daddy said so.  you know my daddy who called me “Hell Itself” as “HIM”.  so phillip has stopped battling so much and let me help him.  this is good.  this is a good thing.  we did this together he and i although he fought me tooth and nail he gave in but not all the way.  so i battle so he doesn’t hurt so much.  i do it for a reason.  my reason is to get rid of all the ill feelings he’s harbored over the years.  i’m good at it.  i am tired of the battle of listening to the story of how bad we were to michael and how we killed him by being here, just by being here… we were told this every day of our lives and i tried to put a stop to it in October 2015 two nights after The Me That Cared About Himself DIED and left me this body.  it is different being here.  different than being and alter or alter personality or one of their creations – called a horror – of a fragment or a fracture or a refractured fragment like phillip was and has so many parts left of himself to unite as i call it and leave.  he can’t stay.  he can’t win.  he knows that.  we all agree.  we did.  so i write now to help him, to help him not hurt.  

                                          Kind regards,  

                                                                                       me

 

 

                                                                                                                                 by kerasotes

April 1, 2016

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