“I found out something about myself today that I liked……..!!!!!” by kerasotes

“” I found out something about myself today that I liked……..!!!!! 

I went visiting yesterday and I am glad I did.  

I got to see my friends I like and who like me.  

We talked of things like deaths and crying and emotions and growing up.  

It was neat.

We talked of things intelligence, like the stock market and what to buy and what not.  

It was intense and real and wonderful and I felt good.

I explained it to my friend Ruriko who is Japanese and a School Teacher and neat and teaches me my Japanese and politenesses and we smile and bow and exlpain things and I learn and tell her so.  I tell her my reflections of yesterday help me improve myself today and she agreed.  And that was neat and miraculous and we shared other ideas emotions behaviors growing ups and racial things.  I explained this:  when oriental peoples especially bow after saying something we all are envious of their politeness and curtesy and “we” ness and family and their oneness as a group and an I not like us and our me, me, me as they are not selfish like us and ‘I’ or ‘me’ oriented and everyone stops and watches in awe.  We are envious of them and their manners and ways and we like it.  I explained how I don’t do this and she explained back to me.  I learned a lot.  I even learned it in now and article and verb and noun that i’d never really understood before like ‘nitche’ was ‘day’ and ‘con’ meant ‘now’ and ‘wa’ was ‘the article the’  or ‘a’.  Cool. it made more sense and i understood the language better and its ways.  I did.   And I liked it.   I learned this today about myself.   I learned it is Spanish from lady from Madrid.    I learned it from a German lady I like in German and French and Spanish.  i ‘es verdad’ed and that means ‘the truth’ or ‘it’s the truth’ and ‘c’est vrais’ and eh bon ‘it’s good’.  And that was fun and i liked it. ‘ 

[N.B. – “anawtawa” = how about you.  “oyasumi nasie” = good night.  Some more Japanese I just learned to help me with the whole polite bowing hello have a nice day hello how are you good evening good night how are you and “genki deska, “genki desk” = how are you, I am fine.] 

“I have inherited “The Memories”, “The Precious Memories,” and, I alone have them now, and, no one else.   Isn’t that something.   I have the memories [all of them]  embodied in me.  That is what my friend Nancy said!” 

That’s good and I like it.  

I was given the body.  The other wasn’t.  The memories came with it.  I really didn’t know that until today.  Doesn’t reflection help then, doesn’t it help?  It does.  and that is why i feel good and better about myself.  I was given the body and its memories and my the others weren’t.  That’s why I knew I’d won.  I knew.   I knew he’d lost and the rest of the leftovers or fractures knew they had lost,  this did them in, and they integrated ahead of him or without him.  It did them in like ‘the me that cared about himself’ did ‘us’ all in the first day he arrived.  I was given the body by him.  I was taught how to take care it.  Philly, my opposite, wasn’t and neither were the rest.  They didn’t have a Self or an i or a me.  They didn’t have all the things to run a body.  So I told them this.  I did.  I wrote some of that on hear and it helped.  It help me.  It helped them leave.  And that is where i am.  Everyone gone but philly.  And I was built to eliminate him and “the me that cared about himself only” also gave me the gift of power to kill him.  He said that filly should die before you.  He should be the last to go before you.  And that’s the way it is going to be.  He dies.  

AND THEN IT WILL ALL HAVE BEEN WORTH IT!

So I found out something about myself that I like about me yesterday and today by visiting my friends and getting to express what I’ve thought about out loud and discussed with myself and have liked it and it is a good thing.  I have learned that I have good manners.  I have learned that I am liked.  i have learned that my friends are intelligent.  I already knew they were nice.   So there.  That is what I’ve learned, I’ve applied it to myself ! And I like it.  I like learning that I am the one the one chosen to win and keep the body and live.  and I like it.  I like myself.  I knew I did.  But this day of reflection helped me advance my learning and apply it and further accomplish my dream of being totally integrated.  

I had a talk with Sue at the Senior Center this morning.  I reflected with her about it about what a good time I had yesterday afternoon with my friends in enlish and I learned nice things about myself and she agreed and we talked more on this and that firmed it up inside my head my life and I and my opposite realized understood at last why he shouldn’t be here too and that was good.  And I felt good about it. 

I had a talk with Nancy Fischer, the ex-therapist friend of mine, who knows all about multi-personality systems and people, personalities, alters, and me.  I’ve got all the good in here in me empower to help me get rid of all the bad!  I am the embodiment of it.  As I keep the goodness of the people; I keep their memories; and they are of the personalities like Michael The Original Who Care About All Of US, Mike 2  (the me that cared about all of us like Michael), and Mike 3 (the me that care about himself only).

I am the one who keeps all the good going and gets rid of the bad and wins.  

These are my words

For I fight and still battle with the idiot, my opposite, over words to type and put down on here.  I want the right ones and the right letters.  He wants the typos and wrong words and wrong spellings.  And I win in the end over him and through him for I have been shown the ways by Michael and Mike the Me that Cared About Himself on how to plow right through the creature and get what I want out and written down.  I get the ones or words that are right and work for me and I have done that now.  Even though I don’t have all the memories, she said they are embodied in me.  They are embodied in me, she said.  I am not to give up the evil for that is helping me kill the filthy thing, the bad and not good personality that is left.  I am winning.  And Now Because Of This New Knowledge About MEMORIES, I will faster.  It is just a matter of time, she said.  She said, The System was built that way and I agree.  

And she went on to say that The System Is Built To Win.  I am the embodiment of all the memories and i am to know all the good has been stored in me and is a part of me now.   And with that knowledge now in me.  It is over.  I understand that i am to keep my evil in me and fight and win and kill all the left over stuff that killed everybody else and do what i was set out to do – win.  

There, I‘m done.    

I found out a lot about me that I like and that I was right.  

This was a good day for a learning experience and I have applied it all through myself and me and my past and my present and my future and now my tomorrow is now at hand and I’ve speeded up the process of winning and maybe it will be tomorrow that there will be no others here and that is what I want.  

SOON I WILL BE TOTALLY INTEGRATED

                                & THAT WILL BE GOOD AND WORTH IT

                                                                          AND I WILL HAVE WON AT LAST!  

by kerasotes

 

NEW ADDITION:  Today I am adding the definition of “embodied” or “embodiment” or “embody” in reference to the new knowledge about me having all the memories.  I looked the word up today and found I liked it.  Dr. Ishiki said the body had its own memories and yesterday I said to my opposite that that’s where they must be and reading about the meaning of those words made it all click today.  So here is the definition of the word “embody”  :   

Word Origin and History for embody
EMBODY

v.

1540s, in reference to a soul or spirit invested with a physical form; of principles, ideas, etc., from 1660s; from en- (1) “in” + body. Related:Embodied ; embodying.

 

EMBODIED:

verb (used with object), embodied, embodying.

1.

to give a concrete form to; express, personify, or exemplify in concrete form:

to embody an idea in an allegorical painting.

2.

to provide with a body; incarnate; make corporeal:

to embody a spirit.

3.

to collect into or include in a body; organize; incorporate.

4.

to embrace or comprise.
So, Nancy said the memories were embodied in me and that is a carnate thing and corporeal and to see that spirit and soul are a part of this makes the word and the new knowledge for me even more wonderful and phantasmagorical.  How nice for me.  My opposite is fighting me like crazy and voicing in his voices and in pain and hurting and I’ve told him the only way for him to win is to integrate and be done with it for he has no purpose here and all his hurting is for naught.  It does him no more good to be here, especially fighting me who was on the same side as he and now this body is mine and so are the memories and he can never have them as he has no self or i or me nor will ever and he should shut up and leave like he told everyone else for years and he just sits and hurts and screams in his looney voices expecting someone else to do his work for him and I told him that’s what’s killing him.  So i await his death and it is coming soon.  I don’t have to do a thing anymore but wait and enjoy my time like I am doing today.  
So I learned a lot about myself yesterday and the day before and I am learning and I like it and I have done my job and done it well and I am at last ‘happy’.  Isn’t that nice!  
me
4/06//2016 wednesday
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