Dear World, I am having a great deal of difficulty and trouble today. It is all from my opposite and the fact that I got into the Behavioral Health Clinic for Therapy. I have had nothing but hell for this. I think it is awful and I guess It Is Killing Me to write this and live with this. This is an awful thing for me to be writing you about but I want to vent my anger and frustration and horror so I can be rid of it and heal. It is a lot of work integrating a personality that wants you to do all the work while he does nothing. Some days I am better at it, this isn’t one. Today I feel sick. I feel like throwing up. I feel like dying. I am not dying. I am sick of this whole thing that never should be going on at this point and am tired as well. I have never felt this sick of this opposite personality as I do today. He expects me to do his work for him. I REFUSE! I will take no more of it. I am done trying to help him. I am done trying to take his pain away. I have my own to deal with and my own horrors to deal with. I have my own life to live and deal with. I have my own problems to deal with. If he did his work and integrated, he wouldn’t be in this position and would be well. So, dear world, that is it for today.
You have a good day and I will sign off now.
April 23, 2016 at 2:10 p.m.
and the kindest words from a friend on Facebook:
“We can go from wanting to die to not wanting to in one day. Take the personality Phillip or whom ever it is and tell him that you have no time for him anymore you only have time for you the good Mike, that likes beauty and art and flowers and thinks good things about other people and helps them. Now is your time and your time only..and it is good for you to set your boundaries.”
“O Paula, thank you” from me back to her….