Today is different. Yesterday I went to the doctor and told my nurse all about the past two years and then read her bits of the letter I’d written my doctor and her. She was pleased with my progress and told me so. I told the doctor the same almost and said that I thought I would be integrated soon. I should have given him the letter but I chose not to. I was having a very difficult time since the last series of falls and decided that I’d keep the letter and just say little. I told the receptionist about the Listeria and eating the bad ice cream [Snoqualmie Recall Ice Creams] in 2014 and that in January 2015 I had been given a death sentence of 2 weeks – might make it to summer. Here it is a year and 8 months later and I have been through chemo and radiation and my cancer doctor and I talked about all this and the pollens and the cancers and the listerias and their 100 diseases and the silver polish that “The I” or “Mother” took and he seemed to think that I could live with all this and make it and to see him in November. While there Mr. Mayo called from Culver to tell me he got my thank you calls and asked about my health. He said he’d call today but I have not heard a word. Michael’s friend Michael Campsmith wrote and evidently called yesterday and I missed that one. I missed an email he’d written telling me to clean or clear out my voice mail but I am unable to do that right now. The reason is my brain is bruised and contused as is my body from all the falls and such. I am tired today and sore and aching and decided to rest. I would like a Safeway $6 steak that Michael and Jayson used to treat themselves to. I think I will take the bus up in a bit and get one. At the QFC they are $12 to $18 although they have bacon wrapped filets for $4.99. I’m having a time with this decision and wasn’t going to write today. For some reason after I tried to sleep the other part of Michael that hasn’t integrated started being kinder. I told him to keep trying to integrate and about death and religion and heaven and all that stuff. In “The King and I” the King states at dinner that men of science and men of faith always seem to come to the same conclusion no matter what. That’s as close as I can come to quoting Yul Brenner’s lines to the British Ambassador. So, I will see and I guess I will let you know how it goes. I would rather the last part of Michael integrated with me than chose to leave or die without doing so. It has been hard on him. And it has been most difficult with me. So there you all go or are and I hope that’s good enough for you and him.