“”What I have been doing and how I’ve fought and battled to stay alive since I stopped writing on here folks.” “by kerasotes””

During this time my Michael’s friend Jim Ray’s foundation “The Raynier Foundation” donated $5,000 to their old school Culver Academies and sent me emails thanking me and told me that the check had arrived and I was so happy and so pleased that I wrote back to all of them and thanked them and said “O Tom, How Wonderful!”  for Tom is the Thomas Mayo of the Culver Fund and its Director, and Chet Marshall was Michael’s friend who wrote me such a nice note of thanks saying that Michael’s name will be remembered forever for all the things he has donated to the school with his thanks and his beautiful words of encouragement and prayers to keep fighting for my life and a beautiful quote about the same – those quotes Michael always liked that were included in Chet’s letters to him.  Perhaps someday soon I will post them here.  I have a hard difficult battle left to win and I continue to do same.  The other is losing continually and I hope it will be today that he will finally lose his battle to beat me and kill this body that he hates and poisoned so.  I have written them about it and my doctors in letters and notes and even my new special now will have it in his.  I am glad I wrote my family doctor or PCP [Primary Care Physcian] {and glad I made him that} early last month and talked with him around the 21st and he was so worried about me and the loss of blood and arteries that he recommended immediately for me to see a specialist of the gastroenterology type and I have that appointment {October 13th, 2016} and today it took me an hour to fill out all the paper work so he or she [for I do not know if he is a male or a female doctor] and worked hard at letting and telling him the whole picture and have refrained till now to write on here and now that I am back on here writing again, I feel better folks.  So I will try and keep you posted on what is happening to me but not every single day for it is too hard for me right now.  I hope you understand and will read what has transpired during my absence from writing on here by seeing what I posted when I did write below on my Facebook [Kerasotes.Mike] Page.  Thank you.  With my kind regards, franklin. (About 7:30 P.M. my time here in Everett, Washington, in the United States of America!)

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From my October 1st Facebook Page:

Dear All: Thank you so much !! 

I filled out the huge thick pile of paperwork for my 13th of October Visit to my new specialist today and it was hard and hard work. There were so many things contributing to it and I wanted the new doctor to know like I did my Cancer Radiation Doctor and my family {or PCP = Primary Care Physician} and that was hard and took me a long time, say an hour. Now it is ready for him. 

Thought you should or would like to know. 

In between I listened to the new DUNE BOOK “Navigators of Dune” on CD and am now about half way. 14 CD’s for this book. I like books on Audio. It is a lot easier for me than reading. And if you miss a part because you are doing things, you can run it over. I did that several times. This one is about the Navigators who live in the Spice Melange Gas and have mutated. They are different. They have prescience – the ability to see through time – see the future. Not like Paul who could see everything but they can navigate through space without making mistakes therefor and by making space travel safe for mankind. It is very interesting. It also has Erasmus [however it is spelled] he is the last artificial intelligence left over from the days when robot machines took over and nearly destroyed the human race. He wants to help us. He wants a real body. He has learned how to feel and understand and has emotions which are changing him and I like this plot in the story! To me it is fascinating. 

Here is a quote about the book from their website – “The story line tells the origins of the Bene Gesserit Sisterhood and its breeding program, the human-computer Mentats, and the Navigators (the Spacing Guild), as well as a crucial battle for the future of the human race, in which reason faces off against fanaticism. These events have far-reaching consequences that will set the stage for Dune, millennia later.”

Then I went over to the Senior Center for a specific reason. It was to see if I could get another denture tooth brush. They had Oktoberfest there and free food and treats. I sampled some and took their advice and came back and got two plates for lunch and snacks. Really nice people who care were there, especially people from my insurance company. I found out what Reverse Mortgages are about. I never knew that before. I got new things I didn’t know existed like an antibacterial spray in a pen and little flashlights and note pads and pens and brownies and cupcakes and cookies and Greek Spanikopita [This is spinach and feta cheese in baked filo sheets of pastry that are delicious] that Michael’s YiYa [or Grandmother in Greek] made. They were really good. There was a delicious Clam Chowder Soup and Swedish Meatballs and Pigs-in-a-Blanket and other treats like candies and crackers and things to eat and nibble on later. So I took the 2 plates (paper) home and nibbled on them. One was 2 of those pita turkey wraps that we all used to like so very much. 

I am still hurting and having gas and bleeding and in such pain that my meds and prescriptions don’t work today. The other is being just plain awful and I wrote about what he does and why on the reports I filled out for my new doctor specialist so he would know like my regular and other doctors and my cancer doctors know. I hope I do not have to have an endoscopy on the 13th because I don’t think I can take that. Too much liquid dieting bleeds me as well. So that’s why I took so many photographs and placed a couple up here. I did that for the people who never believe you and pretend to care and say nice things to your face and write nasty stuff on here and there about you to others and tell other people gossips about you. I have heard it up to here with that and am feed up to there with all that stuff. Why people don’t believe me when I tell them what is wrong with me and what is happening to me and what I went through with Radiation appalls me. I just don’t understand that and you know I don’t want to. So there. I am tired of trying to type without typos and being attacked by the other so I will close now folks.

You all enjoy your day. You all have a good and wonderful time here on Earth. I was supposed to and was supposed to be here alone but the other refused to let me and once I had everything even my life secured again he went all out against me and destroyed all I had done he thought. Well he’s wrong. AND BECAUSE OF READING DUNE OUT OF THE BOOK AND WHILE DOING SAME AND LISTENING TO IT, I FOUND WAYS TO RID MYSELF OF HIM LIKE MY DOCTORS SAID TO DO. THEY TOLD ME TO KILL HIM! I AM DOING THAT AS I TYPE. 

IN DUNE, they talk about the Sisterhood – those Bene Gesserits – those sorcerers and witches who have telekinetic powers and other fabulous honed and trained body skills and can manipulate poisons back in to neutral things so they will not die. I admire that but why they allow all their dead sisters and their relatives that they knew to talk inside their heads [which by the way drives them crazy and mad and can kill them by forcing them to take their own life’s to escape their maddening howling voices millions of them and thousands of years old they are. Such an awful thing to live with and as a multi-personality, I know how horrible that is. Valya [a Harkonen Mother Superior who has united the old sisterhood with the new off world or outer planetary worlds that no one knew about who want to kill everyone even mankind itself] has found a way to still and stop they and she’s had to threaten to kill the whole sisterhood and herself to stop them and she just might. But this is a prequel and we all know The Sisterhood Lives Until The End and Helps Save Humankind with Their Breeding Plan! So did Herbert Hear Voices? Was he Bi Polar or Multi-Personalitied? Are his kids or Brian his son or is Kevin Anderson his co-writer friend or were their mothers that way or what? Who or what perplexed them so into writing about the awful lives of the others within that voice themselves out loud and live in the new sister and ruin or run their lives even though they themselves are dead. A Very Interesting Thing This Is! Don’t you think? I Do! 

So, while I am having this hard horrible time of it on Earth, as I fight for my life to win and live another day, I read, I listen, I watch and I learn and thanks to the new Sci-Fi DVDs at the Library that Hollywood Made and the Dune Books that I have checked out and bought from them and have requested to buy all of them and their audio books on DUNE in a letter I wrote and gave them [my Everett Library] yesterday, I am winning. It is difficult. It is hard. It hurts and hurts like Hell and I am going to finish the other off like everyone even Michael told me I would so long, so long ago. 

With my kindest of regards,

me, franklin on Saturday, October The First, 2016!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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From my September 30th Facebook Page:

 

I am bleeding badly again today. It is the worst so far. I wrote my Payee about it so he knows as he has my will. I see Thee Specialist on October 13th at 1:30 p.m. and am taking the bus there. It is important for me to make this appointment. I am trying and fighting my hardest to make it. I can’t believe the amount of arteries I am losing in my GI Tract and took pictures for my new doctor, thee specialist so he can see. So if you all wonder why I put a few up, that is why. They are tame compared to what is happening today and two days ago and last week. All month I have been bleeding like that. It scares me and I nearly pass out from looking at it. But I am glad I took the photos and told my PCP family doctor about it and posted them here. I will not post more. Although I did make a movie of the worst of the bleeding and put that on my You-Tube Page. I won’t put it on here. I deleted a friend because she said why am I posting things like that. I can’t believe the rudeness of it so I decided she wasn’t a friend and did not care about me and just says hello then ignores me and talks to the people who do the same or never speak to me and they’ve never told me why. I will ignore her from now on. I am that mad at her. That’s about it. 

I have decided to write this and re-open my Facebook Page like my library friend does. 

me

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From my September 22nd Facebook Page:

AFTER GETTING MY PHONE CHARGED UP I GOT TO TALK TO MY RECEPTIONIST AT MY DOCTOR’S OFFICE! It went like this. 

The Appointment I needed for next week [like Monday] isn’t until October 13th, 2016 at 1:30 p.m. It is here in Everett near where we went to our proctologist for the endoscopy and colonoscopy for the first cancer to be treated. I know where that address is and the building for I remember our walks in that neighborhood and seeing it. 

I am saddened by the fact that it is not what my doctor wanted. He wanted it right away. Things don’t always go the way you want do they. But the appointment is set even if I don’t make it. I cancelled the other appointment that day set by my insurance for a home visit checkup.

I don’t think I am going to make it. Too much blood loss, too much battling with a personality that doesn’t want you here to do your job. It was like that with Michael. It was like that with The Mike. It wasn’t like that with Mike The Me, but it sure as hell has been with me. Ever since I got here Phillip wanted my place. His only goal was to destroy me and my plans to get or see if I could get this body well. Well he’s won and we’ve lost. Too much bleeding. At least my doctor realized this and tried to help me get more help.

I also wrote Culver and received and answer. I wanted those two chairs endowed and was promised several million for the things I asked. The letter from Culver was like a sad dismissal and that they think they won’t get a thing. 

That displeased me. So I read my book. I ate some food. I read my book. “Cold Comfort Farm”

I watched my movie and finished it. It was “The Martian” with Matt Damon. By the first one and a half I was hooked. It was fabulous. The whole world teamed up with NASA to get their space scientist whom they’d abandoned on Mars back for they’d thought him dead. He was a botanist. He grew food on Mars and budgeted out the food supplies and air and stuff to stay alive for 4 years in hopes of the US Space Agency to come get him back. What he went through was amazing. It really is a beautifully made movie by Ridley Scot [I don’t know how to spell it because of Phillip] of Alien fame. 

I rewrote Culver and Michael’s friend’s foundation asking if perhaps instead of millions for the school they could have the money for the band instruments they needed and a little for endowing a chair in Jim’s name. Michael’s long time friend and so dear to him. Jim once asked Michael to marry him but Michael refused because of all the personalities and didn’t want Jim hurt by them. Jim understood in the hardest way but that was in a life before I was here. I never knew Jim. Jim died before I got here in 2005 October. So I asked if Culver would settle for having the musical instruments and some money to endow one chair. I asked for $25,000 for the instruments and say $25,000 for the chair to be endowed. Once you have secured the invitation to this foundation they will help you for ever or a really long time. I thought that even $5,000 for instruments plus $5,000 for the chair would be a great start and a wonderful gift for the school. The foundation is set to last longer than our lifetimes and so is Culver. So I sent off my note.

Before that I sat outside crying from the pain of the horror of what has been happening and the bleeding and the fact that the other personality never has friended me nor kept his word and has not left. I said Phillip I am going to talk to you again if that is okay with you. He said yes. I said would you please just work on not using voices and he said he would. Then all hell broke loose. How awful when I have just tried to make a peace between us and he pulls out all the stops and starts talking in voice instead of silently. He wouldn’t stop. I went up to finish my book and he interrupted me continually flitting from on voice to another trying to hurt and disturb me. You know when you are sick and dying and in pain that this causes anxieties that cause your body to bleed internally from the wound inflicted in your mind and body. Well, I am hurting and can feel my guts bleed. I know that pain. I had it in radiation. I had it after. I have it every day now. But since he is never going to stop attacking me to gain control of this body to hurt and kill it, I wanted a peace. I told him not to think about going away but to forget that and try once more to do what the doctors and friends all said – to try and live in peace and find some kind of pleasantness for the rest of the time or days you have left. 

He attacked me. 

I am so mad and so hurt that I thought I’d write about it here just for myself. 

AND THAT IS WHAT I HAVE DONE!

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF AUTUMN [MICHAEL’S WAY] !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

with all my kind regards and regrets for I do not intend on writing on here anymore either unless I am the only one left in this body.

me

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From my September 21st Facebook Page:

 

Then I tried to send two photos to here showing the blood that comes out of me but they are not working. Maybe they will come up later. I am in terrible bloody pain today. Gads !!! In an hour or so I leave to go to my doctor’s office. I took the photos for him. I restarted my phone because is updated 25 or so apps. This is the last day of my billing period and the last day of summer. I am not in a good mood now. It is because of all the meanness from the vicious thing. Anyway, that’s it for now. me

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From my September 17th Facebook Page:

A Note of Cheer: I thought something cheerful should go up next and so I am typing this. Today is Everybody’s Closet run by our friend Nancy Fischer and the Senior Center. You can get clothes for free there today. I don’t think it matters what age you are. She’s done a fabulous job. Fabulous. Lots and lots of things. Some for wearing and some more playing and some for travelling and some for other things. 

I got a bunch of sweaters. Nice ones. That’s the only other thing I haven’t been able to find. My bag is stuffed with them. I also got a nice Raincoat. I have had one of those. The Mike Did, but he gave it away while we were in the Mission. I tried on a beautiful black Christian Dior but it was not belted. This one is and long and black. It fits.

So that rounds out the wardrobe we lost because of Phillip. 

I don’t know about hangers and such but I do have some and the T-Shirts then can be folded up and put away on shelves instead of hanging on them. 

I am glad I went over to see Eloise today for I had forgotten that they were giving clothes away for free. She’s our friend we used to eat lunch with every three days. But since I haven’t done that for a while I went today to see our friend who is cheerful and kind and I am glad I did.

Other than that, I am just writing this in hopes that will cheer you all up after my other little note to myself and him to make things work right in here and in this body brain and mind. So I am fighting fighting fighting to live and make it here alone like Michael wanted. I want his dream to come true. 

Every time I write that, everything goes wrong. But I am doing it in-spite of all that for I don’t want you all to be depressed and worried about me today. 

Thank you.

With all my kind and sincere regards,

me, franklin.

From my September 17th Facebook Page:

 

This is a note to me and him only: It is getting bad again and very bloody down there. It takes about 25 minutes to have a bowel movement these days. The bleeding was supposed to have stopped in two weeks after radiation. But, Phillip would never stop his trick of forcing the body to shit. So here it is 8 months and longer since radiation and I am still bleeding internally. The horror of it is due to him Phillip. After his bloody episodes of terrorizing this body for a cigarette in the morning, a movie in the afternoon, a walk or anything you wanted to do, he terrorized it into a movement as Michael’s mother Marjorie called them. Then there was the time when I had a doctor who could help us with dissociation and he blew that away and dropped me on the sidewalks 6 times and broke my nose 6 times and never stopped trying to drop this body like he did Michael Mike The Me and me. Awful. Then I re-started the training and the help to fix his cognitive errors and his emotional triggers and he dropped me time after time after time on the floor by flooding the brain and terrorizing it and he blacked out and so did I. 

It kept repeating the more I got us help. I imagine that this is what he did to Michael and his kids. They were the 3 helpers who told him who they were in 1994 and he had some peace. He’s kept that up to no end. It is awful of him to do this. I think that Michael’s Doctor Scher of Harborview Neurological Department knew about all of the 50 + personalities and that’s why she had him read Truddi Chase’s “When Rabbit Howls” She had 99. That’s when the others started in trying to reorganize themselves and made systems to take Michael away while they pretended to be him. I write this because The Me said over and over again – Where was Michael? I don’t see him anywhere in the memories. He had all the memories. 

I tried to get everybody to keep him here. But he left saying there was too much you here for him to ever have a good day or a pleasant one. But no one took nor heeded my advice and I awoke one day to him gone and took that day to cry and morn our loss. 

I wanted to get this body well. He (The Me) trained me for it. Phillip took that in his what Michael called his Monkey self and repeated and mimicked every one and everything bad. He’s still at it. He’s still blaming everyone who is gone. He wants some dead person to come and take him away when we all knew that we had to take ourselves away so Michael could be whole and one. He ruined it for Michael. He ruined it for Mike. He ruined it for The Me. And he ruined it for myself. And most of all in his beligerance [how do you spell that?] Belligerence – there and his stupidity and his meanness, ruined it for himself. He still uses his voices when he was taught not to. He’ll be here alone if I go and still have them and since he never friended this body nor himself nor anyone, he will have to live with that and I guess that’s called justice. 

So that is where I stand and am. I am trying to leave yet stay so I can get my poor tired hurt body to the doctor one more time to see what he has to say and how he can help me us and it and then it will be up to Phillip to do this for I cannot stay in this place with him any longer than that. It is too awful to hear him try and keep this body awake all night. It is too awful to watch him hurt me and this body and himself all day long. It is too awful and painful to see and feel him take me away so he can be here to hurt it some more. The burial thing was taken care of by Michael’s friend of Hope Options for she said her people will take care of having the body buried or cremated or whatever they do when you die these days. I’ve and the Me have asked all of Michael’s friends to see if they could get it to Springfield to be buried next to his brother or his ashes there and the grave marked. Several people said they’d help but they are really gone now and I won’t ask anyone else to do this. Michael’s friend Scot McRoberts was told to take the ashes and bury them some place pretty far away from here and Springfield and maybe that’s the best for it is what Michael wanted. Scot is the inheritor. And since I got Michael’s computer working again, it is worth something and might take care of that. The guy that fixed it wanted it left or willed to him but I said that it was willed to some one else. 

I know this is dreadful and sad and oh what are the words for that but that is the way it is. 

I am tired of this life. It is pure Hell. Phillip has made it that way on purpose. He took away Dr. Ishiki’s advice to live each day and have as much fun as possible before you die. That is also why The Me left. There is no fun no peace no happiness when all you hear is a 60 year old personality that was a Helper turned Traitor punishing you for every good thing that you do. The more help I got, the more vicious he became. The more I did for him, the more destructive he got. The more I tried to get us help and him help, the more he punished me. The more he punished himself. And the more he punished this body.

I guess he’s forgotten the 8 + death sentences of last year and then the after the fourth week of radiation you could die in the flip of a switch every day you went in to that place. 

There was the month he forced bowel movements out of this body 50 times a day ripping arteries and veins and nerves out of the GI Tract. Now it is back to not letting it sleep. Now it is back to voices 24 hours a day. Now it is back to fouling out the mouth and that means putting in the wrong words and saying something different than what you had put in the mind to make the body say. Now it is back to the hundred million typos just to type one sentence out correctly. Now it is back to I’m a little baby when he was never one [Phillip that is for he came after Michael was 5 years old] and I came when Michael was 59 so I’ve never had a childhood nor grew up with parents and love or hate or abuse. I came when they were all trying to Kill Michael again. And really that’s all I’ve gotten from him every day since I’ve had this body to myself. And that was right before Halloween 2015 when our priceless Mike The Me left.

I have an awful day he’s planned for me to get through and this weekend and till the middle of next week. I am watching Ben Kingsley’s TUT which is 3 DVD discs and it is fabulous and great and is filmed in Egypt and beautiful and tells the story of his life that we all did not know. I am on disc two. I will be on it all day. 

I learned how to budget. I did. I still have money like 60 bucks left over and 17 bucks on my food stamp card for fruit like strawberries to put in my oatmeal for breakfast and to buy papers and filters for making cigarettes. I still have the big bag of tobacco left unopened. The last one lasted me for months. I don’t smoke as much as every body else did. I got down to five a day but then Phillip ruined that. So now I am down to like 10 a day, the lowest of anybody. 

My life has been ruined. My chance taken away. I never got to be here alone to do the things Michael wanted me to do and Mike wanted me to do and Mike The Me wanted me to do. But I did get a beautiful train to Culver. I did get Michael’s rock collection of precious stones and fossils and things to Culver that got their and Valpariso’s Science Departments excited about the gift. I got Culver to know about Michael’s personalities. I got all his friends to know about them for that is what Michael wanted and no one would let him tell them the truth and I did that. I got the body cured of one cancer. And I got several of the diseases well and taken care of. I got the home put together even though Phillip kept destroying it. I have Michael’s lady on my side keeping us with Section 8 and a home to live in for she knows for we all told her about us much to Phillip’s dismay and displeasure and that’s why he’s punished us so foolishly for that or it. Isn’t that Pitiful and isn’t that Sad. 

I am tired of trying to type correctly and will stop now. 

With all my kind regards,

me – Franklin on September 17th, 2016 a Saturday Morning in the rain here in Everett, Washington USA.

THE END

 
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From my September 14th Facebook Page:

I am watching George Clooney in Disney’s new “Tomorrowland” ! I am doing this because I was curious about the show having seen the trailer or preview on one of the movies on DVD I saw the other day. 

It is late for me [9:49 PM] and I am about to bed. 

I have had a long day. Some of it was nice. I am not certain about the rest. I won’t write about that. 

Tomorrow I want to see if Frontier will take payments and see if I can’t get the Internet. I thought about it this evening and will take my notes out of my trash and call them sometime in the morning.

As for ‘the other’ , I don’t know if he will make it to tomorrow or not. It would be better if he left on his own like Michael said. Enough on that.

Tomorrow is payday again and although I only get some $59 dollars, it will do. I have 6 bucks left and around 10 bucks in laundry money. 

I went to the store to get something to nibble on before bedtime and they had double raspberry magnum ice cream bars. They were good. It was good, then. I also got some Alfredo Roasted Garlic Sauce for my spaghetti and fettuccine on sale. I got some salad dressing for really cheap of Poppy Seed in creamy sauce for $1.09. Then I walked back home and took the pictures I posted earlier of the new bridge and the moon, etc. I like the one with Michael’s ship and the new bridge. Michael worked at the Snohomish County Plaza for the Prosecuting Attorney’s Office keeping all the records for the county. I like his ship. It was like a full moon and I’d never taken a picture from the North Side looking South. So that is why I did that. 

I have so much on my mind and in my thoughts that I am boggled by them and not troubled. I don’t know what I can do about clearing them out of my head and getting my brain to work clearly again for it is or has been bruised and banged so many times this past year that I get a million headaches a day. My pain isn’t so bad anymore. I think it is because I am used to it and have learned to tolerate like Michael did. I have weened myself down to four pain pills a day. My doctor told me I could take two if I hurt bad and then take another if I still was in pain. That usually left me several days without anything for the pain. I also got Michael’s favorite aspirins – Bayer 500mg coated tablets. I took two of them today because my pharmacist said I could because my doctor told me to ask them if it was okay and they said it was. They wanted to know why I wanted them on top of the pain pills. I told them that after two years of taking pain pills every day, they don’t work after a while like Michael said. So they seemed to understand and okay-ed it for me and I told my doctor too. That is that on this.

I think I will quit or stop now folks and go up to my home and get ready for bed.

Have a good night all. Sweet dreams and all that!

With my kindest regards,

The End, me.

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From my September 13th Facebook Page:

Today is Tuesday. I have decided to stay through next Wednesday for my doctor’s appointment since I went to all the trouble to arrange it and have myself checked out by my doctor that I like and find out what he says.

I also would like to see the photograph Culver is going to send me the display of my collection that I did for Michael.

I went and got some of my things out of the pawn shops because I had over 100 dollars in my saving jar. It was 122 dollars to get The Me’so silver and Ruby ring and the gold necklace and the gift I got from Lorene of a heart with rubies and diamonds. My Payee said I should do this for they have sentiment and memories and value to of us and myself, sor I I did. I picked the most expensive ticket to get. Next month, I can get The Mike’s 21 carat gold ring and the Ruby and diamond earring Bev gave me and all the rest of Michael’said earrings that are left. I am glad Chuck told me to do this. To my surprise, Jeff had the me’s Ruby and silver ring and had not scrapped it. He let me have that back for 4 dollars. I’d gotten 1 dollar for it. This pleased me greatly. I felt like such an idiot selling it for a dollar after having it sized for him the way he wanted it to be for 10 dollars. It is on my finger again. I never thought I’d get it back. Jeff,the owner of the shop has been good to me. Today he was super. Thank you Jeff, Chuck and God. 

It has been Hell here with Phillip every day. I’m tired of it. I wish he’d keep his word and promises and leave. Then I can continue trying to get this body well.

I have refused to write on WordPress until I am alone here. 

So I am watching Elysium with Matt Damon and Jodi Foster. Really interesting. 30 some odd minutes into this futuristic movie where the rich live on a space station with the elite and the poor live on a ruined earth – – awful. The people on Elysium a space station with atmosphere beauty luxury and a killer robot army to protect it. Jodi is in charge of it but is not the president. I won’t tell you more but this – – – politics science and you can live forever young there and no one from Earth can nor use their advanced technology. 

So the battle continues and it is torture and pain and endless stupid voices from a personality who was old to stop them and won’t and has no plans but only hurt you and undo whatever has been done. I detest this. It is why I’d rather leave. 

I am not. Not leaving. The other knows he can’t win, agreed to let me have this body alone. We all did. Mean and vicious and stupid are what I face every day all day long. 

I am tired of it. 

Please don’t wish me luck, it is a battle only I can win alone and without help.

That’s all.

With kind regards, me.

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From my September 12th Facebook Page:

I just got this tonight and I want to share it with you all: “Dear Giles: In response to your – “Are you really this multiple personality person like Sybil? I’m fascinated by it. Now there are only 2 or 3 of you, right? Hello to all 3 of you!”
Unlike · Reply · 1 · 29 mins
Mike Kerasotes
Mike Kerasotes Yes I am. There were like 56 of us and the original personality Michael. You may write me about this if you wish. There is more about it on my WordPress.com page – see ‘kerasotes’ there or search there for it. Thanks for writing me about it. I am down to just 2 of us now Giles! me” from Giles GoldSmith and me and back to him tonight! me

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From my September 12th Facebook Page:

[a reply to the above: “Giles GoldSmith I am happy to see this reply to my inquiry ! Actually, just like Joanne Woodward in ” The Three Faces of Eve,” I have 3 personalities: white, gray, and black. The 5 of us should have dinner together one evening. Best to you ALWAYS! Giles G”]

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From my September 12th Facebook Page:

[and my reply back to him:  “I liked that movie too. Perhaps you should read this book: ‘When Rabbit Howls’ [it is by Trudy Chase who had 99 personalities] that will explain us more than any book. Michael’s doctor had him read it way back in the 1990’s when he wanted to get well and be all integrated. I am beyond that point. I don’t want to be here anymore because the one other personality [Phillip] will never stop using his voices and friend me and help us. It is too awful to think about so I keep trying to go away so I am not here anymore for everything I do he wants undone and I was here to get this body well and he won’t let me. There were like 56 of us and they all agreed I would be the one to do it but after 11 months alone in this body that was given to me with permission, he just wants to destroy it and pretend he is a 2 year old child when he didn’t come into this world until after Michael was 5 years old and has been here 60 years and is mean and vicious and hateful and hurtful and I am tired of being abused by a personality that doesn’t even care about himself or his body. How’s that? Maybe you have some Idea on how to get out of this predicament.”]

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From my September 12th Facebook Page:

Today I spent watching movies from the library. The first was ‘Darby O’Gill & The Little People’ – I liked it lots. Then ‘Edge of Tomorrow’ with Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt of ‘The Young Victoria’ ! They were good. It took a while before I liked it. It had a happy ending. It was about strange aliens who could bend or use time and repeat the day over and over and over. I had seen the preview on Emily’s DVD and wanted to see what it was. 131 minutes or so and good.

I also Got – Disney’s new Cinderella that isn’t animated. It is good too. I am about 22 minutes into it and am watching that on Michael’s old computer. It has surround sound. We all didn’t know that. The screen is like 25 inches across and high definition. It is really better than regular TV’s. Really! 

Then since I didn’t want to go to bed, I started the next movie by the guy who did the new ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’ ! It looks interesting. I am only a few moments into it. The Earth as we know it is gone. They’ve built a city under water. It is the only city on Earth. They don’t know there is a world around them. They don’t know there was land above or that the world died. Their predecessors put a disc into a James Bond Box [a small one] and the plans and on it are how to build a city and what happened to the world. I think it will be fascinating. I don’t know. I got it because it sounded good on the back and because it was made by the ‘journey to the center of the earth’ that we all liked once upon a time. Me and Michael liked or prefered the old one. But after watching it several times, I learned to like the new one. I know why Michael liked the old one. It had a better story and he knew the people. They had been at his home. Jules Verne was one of Michael’s favorite authors and Mr. Disney was Michael’s personal friend and protector. As you know, Michael’s parents were mean to him and abused him terribly as a child giving him over 50 different personalities and it seems the lane he grew up in all knew it. I’ve heard stories from several people and Michael about it and this. Anyway, I am interested in this movie because I think Michael might have liked it. 

I am tired sore and hurting and my insides ache tonight. All the cancer and all the 100 Listeria Diseases are eating me alive. That’s why I wrote my doctor. Today my new United Health Card came with my Dr. Stanley D. Borish on it as my PCP [Primary Care Doctor]. This is what The Me and I wanted. It took me a while to do, but it is done and I am glad I did it. That and my writing all about the diseases nobody discussed anymore after they found all the cancers and didn’t know what to do but to start treating the prostate cancer. That one is gone. My cancer radiation doctor – Doctor Aaron Brown thought I could live with them and told me so and told me good luck with the rest. Dr. Borish knows this. I am glad of that. The next appointment is like the 21st of this month. That’s when it will be found out what can or cannot be done about all that stuff. I am still bleeding and hurting inside and I took a picture again for my nurse and doctor of the bloody mess that came out today again. 

I wrote Michael’s friend’s foundation re: the gifts that are to go to Culver this month and that is that. 2 chairs will be endowed and money for reconstruction of the Culver Inn, the Band quarters and the Summer Camps where Jim and Michael met are in that along with money for the instruments for the kids that the old director of the Culver Fund wanted. Whew! Some 6 and 1/4 million or so dollars Jeffrey let me have because of our friendship with Jim Ray and them. There is the money or gift to The Carl Gipson Senior Center in October. And that I’ve already discussed and taken care of with both the President of the Everett Senior Center Foundation and Jim’s Foundation. Whew! That’s it on that kind of stuff.

There is soon to be a picture of the Display the Science Department of Culver and Valpariso University of Indiana are working on and should be done soon. I’d like to see that. Michael collected lots of rocks and gems and crystals for it and I finished it off this month. There are fossil sea plants and fossil woods and ambers. There are beautiful crystals like honey citrine and large quartz’s from Mount Rainier and a big beautiful hunk or chunk of Citrine that Michael’s friend Galen had and Scot McRoberts told him to take after Galen had died. There are every kind of precious gem in the collection some 50 different stones all cut pieces – even rare Tanzanite. There are fossil sea life like Trilobites from Morrocco and Madagascar. There is a Tahitian White Starfish. There is a Conch Shell that is perfect and so beautiful. There is a movie or two about it on Michael Kerasotes on You-Tube that the current Director of the Culver Fund Liked. Then there were pressed lilacs – flowers, leaves, stems, seeds and pressed honeysuckles of yellow and red and their berries or seeds. I worked hard on this and that. The Head of the Science Department is excited about Michael’s or my collection [as they refer to it]. Valpariso is involved via Chet Marshall, Michael’s old friend from Culver who was the past director of the Culver Fund. He’s involved with this as is the Indiana University Science Department and he’s involved with the Raynier Foundation and Institute of Jim’s for he wanted an invitation from the charity foundation and I got that for him and the millions for the school to be a gift in Jim’s name and if possible the 1 1/4 million dollar endowed chair to be in Michael’s name. All the rest is to be in Jim Ray’s name. That’s the way Michael would have done it and I did it for Him and Jim. They were dear friends and loved each other so much. They’d known each other all their lives. Culver sent me beautiful letters about the gifts and the watch Jim gave Michael. I’ve posted pictures of it and all this on here earlier this year and month. That took a long time to do. I am glad to have done it. Of course there was the Lionel 13 car with yellow caboose train set I sent them for Christmas. That’s in their museum now. Michael’s name will be listed in perpetuity for this and all the stones and gems and stuffs Thomas Mayo the current Director of the Culver Fund wrote me in an email. The school is for the exclusive rich and wealthy and royals from all over the world. 1800 plus acres in Northern Indiana. Michael loved it there and I got to go with him the last time he went for his 40th class reunion. Both Chet and Thomas wrote me about getting well and or trying to and about the multi-personality stuff and were kind and understanding in their emails and letters regarding same. That’s nice. I appreciated that very much. It was something Michael wanted them to know. So I told them for him. How kind of them to be so understanding about it. I thought that great.

So tired am I that I am making too many typos and errors on here. I hope this story’s something you can understand and like. Michael would have liked it too. 

Good Night All !!!!!

me

9/12/2016 at 8:30 p.m. my time.

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From my September 12th Facebook Page:

[a reply to the above: “Giles GoldSmith Are you really this multiple personality person like Sybil? I’m fascinated by it. Now there are only 2 or 3 of you, right? Hello to all 3 of you!”

and my reply back: “Mike Kerasotes Yes I am. There were like 56 of us and the original personality Michael. You may write me about this if you wish. There is more about it on my WordPress.com page – see ‘kerasotes’ there or search there for it. Thanks for writing me about it.”]

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From my September 11th Facebook Page:

It is getting near my bed time and I am tired. It has been a long day again. I am going up to take my meds and skip dinner. I had lunch at KFC and the $5 box with leg and thigh and an extra piece of breast. It came with biscuit and mashed potatoes and gravy for about $7. It was so good. I really like their stuff. It was a battle all day long. I went to the library and got 5 more films. One was ‘Darby O’Gill and the Little People’ !!! I started watching the extra features and they are better than the movie. It was in black and white and I am still not done. I am 45 minutes into the third one or is the second and it is what I think was on TV in B&W and the Sunday Disney Show in the 1950’s. He’s wonderful [He being Mr. Disney]. They tell what Matt Paintings are and show you. They do the forced perspective and tell you about what that is. To do the little people or lephracons you have to be 4 times the distance away and the sets have to be made 4 times bigger than the regular sets and cast. Fascinating Stuff! I had all about how Sean Connery got to be in the show and several other Scottish and Irish People. Sean said the Irish Settled Scotland. Another fact I did not know. So, I haven’t seen the movie yet. But they did do the Banchee that Michael liked so and that also was in black and white and they told the story of why she came – – – she came to announce Death was coming. Death was a headless coachman with a hearse as a carriage and it was the carrige of death. I don’t know Irish Folklore but now I know some. Mr. Disney went to Ireland to get knowledge about the film. Darby O’Gill & the Little People. It is fiction and myth and fact combined. Nice.

So I hope your day went well. I hope you sleep good tonight.

Sweet Dreams and Good Night.

me

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