For the time I thought lunch would be a fiasco inside of me, I was wrong. I was right not to have my tea and morning oatmeal. Me and Michael talked about all this. We talked about other things too. We talked about my bleeding and the shots or vaccinations I want and my upcoming doctor visits and my procedure. He doesn’t care to talk personalities although he knows. He thinks we all are Michael. He doesn’t know he hasn’t seen Michael in years. I kept it that way. Mike tried to tell him differently and so did The Me. That upset Michael and we nearly lost him. So I decided again today to keep up what Michael wanted and play him. It is alright with me to do this. It is not alright with the other. Although the other would pretend he was Michael and no one knew he thought, we’d all get thrown out or lose our home or our things or Michael. Now that there is no one else but me and him it is easier. I think this swell. It isn’t a lot of trouble but it is work. You have to remember not to we or us and I and my like this: My grandparents’ building got landmarked. I did this in Egypt. These are my things and I discovered this star. That’s what you have to do. The other hates it. He wants to undo all the things Michael did and got and had and were. I won’t let him. He fights me for it. I don’t let him win. Like today. I hope this helps kill him.
We had a nice lunch at the Buzz Inn. I got the me’s plain deluxe burger with cheese extra and fries no bacon. No water. Just plain. It was good. It was not expensive. Michael had the clam chowder he wanted in a cup and the chicken fajita thing he likes. He doesn’t eat red meat that I know of. We talked of diets and cancers and drugs and diseases. He’s worked at the CDC Center for years. He got moved from the Seattle Branch to the one in Atlanta years ago. He knows all about diseases and blood things and sex and its diseases and cures and vaccinations and shots and vitamins. That’s nice. It was even helpful. He’s pleased with me for smoking less and would rather I quit but I am not able to. I told him about me and my lungs and my blood organs and he told me about Vitamin K and clotting and the long bones in your body and ribs that made the new red cells. He said that radiation does something to the ones that make white cells in your blood. He was amazed about my clotting story. I told him I wanted to be safe because I use public restrooms where IV drug users go and he thinks it was a good idea to be tested for Hep C. We discussed this and more. He is proficient on this subject and knowledgable and I liked it.
Then we went shopping. I let him buy me two big packages of toilet paper. I have been insistent upon buying my own and not letting him buy me this. But today I gave in. I got the cheapest lunch on the menu and therefore let him pay for me going shopping for aspirin mouth wash and paper towels and toilet paper and Twizzlers. I asked if I could have the things. And I picked out two things there that had 5000 reward points on them. It wasn’t that it was fun. It wasn’t that these things were necessary. It was that he wanted to take me there and buy them for me. That was why I ate the less expensive lunch and told him to drop me off at Walgreens. He said he would take me there and take me shopping at the store [which meant he would buy me groceries too and I did tell him I had my coupons on me but no] so I didn’t let him take me grocery shopping. That was alright with him.
He even helped me carry the things up and came in and commented on things. I played Michael for him and that relieved him. I did this for him. I did it for Michael. I did not do it for me or us or the all of us he did or did not know. That way I got a hug that he likes to give when he leaves and I got the one when he sees you or Michael I mean when he arrives. Do you understand? I hope so. me
from today’s Facebook log
It is Book Club Day at Noon here. I read my 40 pages the guy told me to do. I didn’t really like the book at first but once I got into it, I did. Now I can’t wait to finish it. The author knows a lot about children who have been abused and he writes about them in this book. His newest one may intrigue me for it is about a set of 4 identical twins that are separated – like they did in Springfield Illinois in the 1950’s for Michael knew a pair of them and that’s what happened way back then. In this new book they are separated but I know not why and it has been 7 years since he’s written a book. In the one I am reading the child has been locked away for 9 years in a boarded up dark room and punished and given meals and develops his own language and that is rather strange. I wonder if this happened to Michael and Robert and that’s where we all get our Primitive Language that we use to talk to one another for there were 56 of us and one of Michael and one of Robert. Michael and Robert talked about this before his brother died and Robert worried that he was a Multiple but Michael didn’t think so. So he put his brother to ease with this when he re-told him the story about himself and finding his real birth mother and family in Las Vegas. I don’t know much more about it for that is in The Memories. Only 2 new personalities had them. The Memories are all of every one of us’s memories and Michael’s. So there. Something for you to think about for multipersonalitied people come only from very severely punished or beaten or the better word is abused. Abused here means Sexually, Mentally, Physically, Emotionally and two other ways Michael tried to explain to me. Alright. If I get through all this soon, I will tell you the rest. The other personality left is not to know this stuff and wants it very badly for some reason known to me and him but I was told not to tell him all this by the last new personality “The Me”. Okay? Okay! me
from yesterday’s Facebook log