“”Me and My Operation!” “By kerasotes””

I AM ON MY LAST DAY BEFORE I’M DOWN TO JUST THE LIQUIDS. SINCE YESTERDAY WAS SO HARD ON ME AND MY BODY, I DECIDED TO ELIMINATE EVERYTHING BUT HOT TEA AND HONEY AND WHITE BREAD AND JELLY. TOMORROW I CAN ONLY HAVE LIQUIDS. I DECIDED THAT SINCE EVERYTHING FLUSHED THROUGH ME YESTERDAY TO KEEP DOING JUST LIQUIDS TODAY BUT REMEMBERED THAT HOT TEA IS A DIARETIC AND YOU WILL LOSE EVERYTHING IF YOU DO NOT HAVE SOMETHING IN YOUR STOMACH. SO I HAD MY JELLY SANDWICH. TOMORROW THAT IS TO BE ELIMINATED. JUST LIQUIDS AND THEN THE GOO AND THE OTHER LIQUID THAT FORCES EVERY THING OUT OF YOUR GI TRACT SO THEY CAN GO IN AND LOOK AND SEE AND REPAIR AND CONTROL THE BLEEDING AND WHAT EVER ELSE IT IS HE’S DOING IN HIS 6 OPERATIONS FROM 9:20 AM TO 2 PM. 

I AM SMOKING LESS BECAUSE TOMORROW I WON’T REALLY BE ABLE TO AND I WANT MY SYSTEM PREPARED FOR THE WITHDRAWAL OF THE TOBACCOS. I HAVE DONE THIS TODAY AND JUST FOR THE SIMPLE REASON I WILL BE IN THE BATHROOM A LOT ONCE I START THE TWO SOLUTIONS THAT WILL CLEAN ME OUT ENTIRELY AND THAT WAY IT AND I WON’T CRAVE THEM SO MUCH AND CAN DO WITHOUT. I HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE. I CAN GO THREE DAYS WITHOUT A CIGARETTE. SO I KNOW I CAN DO THIS. 

I TOOK MY MOVIES BACK TO THE LIBRARY. TOO BAD I DIDN’T KNOW THAT THEY HAD ONE NEW ONE I THINK I WANT TO SEE THERE READY FOR ME TO PICKUP BUT I DID NOT KNOW. 

OF COURSE THERE IS THIS: I MAY NOT MAKE IT THROUGH ALL THIS AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT. IT IS A POSSIBLITY THAT ALL THE DISEASES WILL GET ME BEFORE I GO THERE OR ONCE I GET THERE OR AFTER I LEAVE THERE. ALL OF US IN HERE KNOW THAT AND I THINK SO DOES MY PCP OR FAMILY DOCTOR AND MAYBE EVEN MY NEW SPECIALIST WHO’S TEAMMATE IS OR WILL BE PERFORMING THESE OPERATIONS FOR ME. I KNOW MY CANCER DOCTOR THINKS I CAN MAKE IT TILL NOVEMBER FOR HE TOLD ME SO. I JUST GOT HIS CARD TO SEE HIM IN NOVEMBER AND I THINK THAT IS ON THE 11TH. 

RIGHT NOW I AM STILL SCARED AND NERVOUS AND WORRIED AND TIRED AND WORN AND I KNOW IT IS ONLY ME KEEPING ME ALIVE FOR ALL MY DOCTORS AND THE HOSPITAL ER DOCTORS ALL HAVE TOLD ME SO. NO LONGER IS IT ME AND MY BLOOD THAT IS KEEPING ME ALIVE. IT IS JUST ME. SO I AM FIGHTING TO STAY ALIVE FOR I WANT TO LIVE AND BE WELL. 

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THINGS — THE BATTLE WITH THE OTHER IS GOING WELL. I AM BEATING HIM TERRIBLY IN ALL THE PLACES I CAN. EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT OR NO LONGER TALKING TO HIM {FOR THERE IS NO INTELLIGENCE LEFT IN HIM TO TALK TO} I AM WINNING. I DON’T KNOW ABOUT MORE THAN EVER BUT I KNOW I CAN REST AND SLEEP AND DREAM AGAIN AND I CAN READ AND A LOT FASTER NOW AND GET THROUGH MOVIES OR FILMS ON MY TV THAT I GET OR GOT FROM MY LIBRARY AND EVEN KEEP HIM OUT OF HERE FOR IT IS EASIER TO KILL HIM THAT WAY AND IT IS EASIER TO LEAVE HERE FROM OUT THERE. JUST SO YOU KNOW.

me

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