“”Dear Me,” “By kerasotes””

“”Dear Me,”  “By kerasotes””  

I just wanted to write to myself that I am tired and the medicine is making me sick.  I want to throw up all day long and especially at night!  I don’t know what it is that these people are doing.  The bottles say that if you are bleeding – do not take them.  The other bottle says that if you have ulcers – do not take this.  Why am I?  

I should call my doctor’s office and ask.  After all, he’s the one who prescribed this stuff and I am tired of bleeding and hurting and the pain.  I want to know if I can have Morphine.  My cancer doctor said I could.  

My regular doctor won’t prescribe it for me and I lost the chance at my previous doctor’s clinic because the other thing threw a fit that day and they abandoned me.  

I decided I didn’t want it.  

I didn’t want to be an addict but then I thought that my life is terminal anyway and now I am in so much pain, wouldn’t it be better if I were on a stronger pain killer medicine.  I know that stuff at 50 milligrams kills the pain for 12 hours or so.  

So what am I doing telling myself and others that I don’t want it.  

Why?  

me

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