The Worstest Day Ever in the Life I was Denied
After becoming my own payee this body and everything in it but me turned upon me and drove me out of happiness and sense of accomplishment and well-being to despair and despisement of it and that’s what I am writing about here today. I am no longer happy about what happened. I am no longer wanting to be here. I am no longer ever going to get my chance at my life as promised to be alone here to get this body well.
I was punished all night long. This body and its systems of yous wouldn’t let me sleep. I am now calling this situation – me and you all. No names. No more wanting to be well. No more wanting to be happy. No more wanting to be at peace. No more wanting not to hear voices. For that is what you all want. You all want to be sick and tormented and unwell and unhappy and mean and despicable!
So be it.
You do not have permission to be here. You did not get it from Michael like I did. You did not get it from his successor The Mike. You did not get it from His Successor The Me. You may not have it from me.
I will fight you and fight you and fight you all till you kill me so I don’t have to be here anymore. I am going to do what I want no matter what filthy things you all want or pretend you want. You all want to be irresponsible children of age day one. You all want to live in the past. You all want to be Michael’s parents and Play God and Pretend You All Know How To Run things when you all do not know how to do any of this. You all want to hate and to hurt and to harm and to horrify and be hellish little pretend things that will damage this body and blame it on anyone else real or imaginary. I want no part of that.
I no longer want to live by your all’s rules. I no longer want to be a part of you. I cannot. I want none of your ‘I am not responsible for my actions’ ! I want none of your ‘it is always somebody else’s fault for the way that I am’ ! I want none of your ‘Somebody Else Made Me Do It and I am innocent!” I cannot abide by that. I cannot live in you all’s filthy pretend world and will fight you for it to stay here in reality until you kill me off like you’ve threatened me every day since I got here and you all gave me permission to have this body and to leave me alone in it because none of you wanted it.
I no longer want to post on the internet. I no longer want to !
Written by me on November 11, 2016 Veteran’s Day Friday Morning during one of the most awful experiences of my life!