“”I write it bluntly for myself… ” “by kerasotes””

Today is Sunday and I have been hurt so bad by the other that I went back to bed after my second cigarette out side. He forced my bowels out twice this morning and bled me bad! That’s what I got from being nice to him and helping all day yesterday! I am so mad at it and disgusted that I am forcing him to die. I am tired of his bull and his shit and his filthy talk and ways! I write it bluntly for myself so I can see and hear it as I type. I do this for me. I do it for me. I am the one who’s been bled and had my new shorts messed up twice this morning with the worst bloody mess ever. I had to take pictures of the blood in the toilet for my new doctor to see. I had to bath the creature twice and clean him up so I could wash my dishes that I just got and make myself my breakfast of plain oatmeal. Oatmeal is on my new high fiber diet to help me rid myself of ulcers and with dark brown sugar it was good today. I don’t know why sometimes it is better and cooks better and looks better but I have been trying to notice. It has something to do with the weather here and the pressure. Today it is drizzling rain and windy. It is cold but not like your weather. A rose is blooming outside again and so is another and the lilaces are still blooming. I am deciding on ordering a pizza again today because I do not want to go out in the weather. I want to stay in bed. I gave up my prime rib yesterday because they changed the price at The Buzz Inn from $10 to $19.99. I wanted it bad. They brought me the menu and gave me water and I looked at it and became mad. I asked about the price change and they said it was only for last week’s SeaHawk Game. Pitiful. They told me to come back on Saturday to have it at the $10 price and told me they don’t have black and blue cheese steak salad and it is still on the menu. I think they lie. I like the food there. But it is expensive. For two lunch is $30. Awful. I think I’ll go on Monday and have the leftover pulled pork sandwich for $3.99 that they serve as a dinner on Sunday for $6.99. It used to be $3.99 and then went up to $4.99 then it went up to $5.99 and now it is $6.99. Awful. Is that inflation? I guess. I guess it is.
I get to be my own payee and I want that credit card they promised me in the mail this month so I can have all my government money at once – something Michael always wanted and only had once. I got no raise in Food Stamp Money – it is still $101/month. I think we get a raise next month in our Social Security Money. I don’t know. For two years now under Obama we have not got our cost of living raise increase of about or around 10%. We were promised a raise in funds by him and he did not give it to us and took it away. I am mad at him for that. I’m glad he’s going to no longer be our President. I think he ruined our country. So that’s my say on Inflation and Politics. I’m done.
I have a hard week coming up again because all the bleeding stopped and since it was explained so nicely by my cancer doctor, the little one or creature or thing – the other – shit on me !!! Pitifuly. Disgusting !!! And Maddening !!! I no longer want to talk to him but I am going to blast him every minute of every day he does not leave for this. This is like the third or fourth time he’s ruined all my efforts at healing this body from all the damages he alone has done to it. I’m going to do it 24/7 even in my sleep. I do it to him in his dreams and drive him nuts there in his wretched ‘dreamland’! It took me a while to do this but Michael showed me how to change your dreams and it works. So I fuck with him when he goes to sleep and I kill parts off of him like Michael did; like The Mike did; and I guess like The Me did! The Michael and The Me taught me how to do this. The Mike did not! He was secret about the things he killed and took away and made sure never happened again. He’s the one who stopped us from being able to create new personalities and stopped the alternates from splitting and making more of themselves. Amazing!
So that’s where I am today! That’s where I am. The End. me.
November 20, 2016 Sunday Afternoon


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