“”I’m wondering how long I have to live…!” “by kerasotes””

“I’m wondering how long I have to live…!”  because of the pain and the hurt and the vomiting feeling and the horror I have to live through and with because the other won’t leave.  This morning he shit my pants again on purpose just to mess up a pair of underwear.  I had to wash them out and put them in a bucket I have to soak them.  They are Abercrombie & Fitch new ones and hold the stuff of goo in them without my other clothes getting soiled.  I should write them and tell how wonderful they are.  I should.  I won’t though.  I just won’t.  I did a lot of that with other things and for other people but this I will keep to myself and you.  

I am in constant pain now and nothing takes it away.  Nothing.  I never really feel good and if I do it isn’t for long – say a moment or two.  

It is the Lysterias and the Pollens and the Cancers that got in this body somehow.  I know how and I’ve or the others have written about it I think.  The other put pollen in this body in open wounds he tore into his or this body’s scalp every day for months.  They started changing the way things worked in it and began to tear it – the body – apart.  We would pickup pieces of arteries that fell out and other strange things.  Every time you cough a bunch of junk comes out.  I had a bunch of samples I gave my cancer doctor to analyze but I don’t think he ever did.  That made me mad.  He thinks I can make it.  I can’t with the other  here.  You need to have the body for yourself alone without anyone else in it violating it.  

So I wonder how long I have to live…!  I do.

me, Franklin on December 30th, 2016 Friday.


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