“Letting him have his Chance… .”
I got this out and today Phillip gets his chance to be here and do what I believe he is capable of doing so I can go away. Only one of us can be here. This whole body is set up that way. You haven’t been 57 people in one body. 56 of them alternate personalities all vying for this chance to be here. Now that there are only 2 of us, I can give this Chance to Phillip. It is to show him how to have fun and enjoy the days he has here.
Yesterday he wrote on here in my name and I’m mad about it. He wouldn’t let me sleep because two days ago I got the printout of Emotion Regulation and the 5 steps came to me printed out for him.
Now, he can start being nice to himself – nice to this body – and nice to me. When he can prove that he can run this body the way it is supposed to be run and succeeds at not talking to himself and using voices and being his bad self say, he can have a happy time here. He gets my chance to do this. I get to give it to him since I know he won’t go away to save this body but I will. It can’t be that way or this way anymore.
Being 57 different people was bad enough. I’ve got this body where it has more quiet and peace and fun than it has in ages. Phillip combats me on this. He wants it his way. His way is the wrong way. His was is the Bad Way. That’s where he is wrong. He knows the Good Ways and the Right Ways and how to reward himself positively. He hasn’t been allowed that chance here. I am giving him some time here out of my time and my life to show me that he can be a good personality like he was made to be and have a good time and enjoy himself and not hurt this body and not punish it and be kind to it and nice to and then leave so I can do my work in it and then….
Then, there has to be just one of us here. I don’t want to be here anymore. It is too much work to be happy to stay. Phillip made it impossible. He can have my chance to make it possible for him to be happy here since he won’t have anyone to fight against anymore. Of course he’ll have to stop being a bad thing and be a good one. He’ll have to stop using his voices and keeping it away all night and yelling at it in his awful way with all his voices demanding and not giving what they ask or tell or shout or yell at you what to do for 4 hours straight in a row. That’s awful. That’s not picking out a life and having fun and enjoying yourself and the day you gave yourself to have it in.
That’s what I am up against and am fighting to get away from. I will. me
This is for Phillip & You because he ruined what I wrote on here yesterday and made it a hellish thing and ghoulish and mean for him to have planned to be an awful thing and drive me away so he can rule this body alone. Well, I want him to have it. Alone.
That’s my reason and what i have done and i am glad i took the time to do this and tell him to be good and nice to himself instead of punishing himself and me and the dead and the damned since they are all gone and let us have some fun while he proves to me that I am correct about him and that he can indeed run this body alone and give up his voices and being bad and be a nice wonderful kind intelligent man.
[Posted on March 2, 2017]