“I Have To Win, Franklin.”
I fight the ‘little battle’ another day or ten. I find that I have to be here and I have to not want to ‘go away’ ! It isn’t easy. Life has been Hell with Phillip The Other and I used to be Hell Itself and he was just hell and I should remember that I was killing him then and i should have kept at it. But i went into radiation and lost 2/3’s of my guts and have like half an immune system and insides that are trying to grow back. I had them not bleeding this past two weeks. I’ve gotten 7 hours in a row of sleep on day and 5 on a nother and 6 on the last one and I have figured it out that The Brain and This Body Want Me Here Not Him and He’s losing ground and it has to be more. All this I have to do this and I have to do that in order to get ‘this body’ just doesn’t work. it is this – This brain gave me the body on october 29th 2015 and to no body else and it had a lot of others who were a lot older than me say over 60 some odd years as I only got here about 7 years ago. They finally killed Michael and I’ve known all of the personalities i think but 3. I am thinking there were more that Michael wiped out – wiped out years ago – and when I got here there were over 50 of them trying to rip his brain out by straining his mind and his emotions and his thoughts with voices so loud it was deafening and you or Michael couldn’t even here the ‘Real World’! That’s what I came into and want eliminated and it must be so. This thing Phillip will not do that and so I must eliminate him and quickly or I will not last – no one can live in the hell he’s picked out for himself and has no plan of changing [although I’ve changed his plan a number of times and improved the damned being. I made him into a better personality – one that cries understands and has feelings and that’s where I got him and he was willing to try to do the things he needed to do to win this body. But he won’t] – he won’t change his ways of childish torture and idiocy and ‘lock me up in a loonie bin or let me throw myself out the window and then there is my personal favorite which is – let me take this body to Springfield Illinois and bury it and mark its grave with a headstone – let me. And although I go on “how are you going to live idiot in a dead body while dragging it over the Rockies or the Tetons back to Illinois in the cold at that altitude of over a mile or two or so for Pike’s Peak alone is 5,280 feet – a mile – and here Mount Rainier is 16,000 feet or less. and that’s 3,000 miles or so as the crow flies phillip or thing or idiot or creature or what ever i call you the idiot – The Other – at that moment it is ridiculous of you to think that this Brain is Going To Give You A Body – This Body – to do that, Phillip. So I have to stay and fight it out and win it soon or I think I will take myself out of here for that’s what I’ve told myself to do over the years the brain let me have this body to get it well and such and so and i can’t last many more days of fighting over a thing that was given to me by another it wasn’t given to even though it is 6 decades older than me [Lived in This Body, On This Earth, for over 60 Years] and i haven’t even been here a decade and ‘everyone else’ like you people and my other friends and people I work with about me and him and life and home and out in my places I go to get away and have fun want me here instead of slapping Phillip in the face after he makes a rude remark and telling him to go home and lock the door and take his clothes off and hide in his bed till he falls asleep and ((really never wake up again)) wakes up a good boy or a good thing or a good personality or a good man or being and I don’t know. I just don’t know if He can do this and I think the answer is no – no matter what I told myself and what other people have agreed with me that I’ve done a good job raising Phillip and it will be okay for me to leave. But it seems that I am needed here and he will fail here with me and he will fail here without me and without me is the way it should go but if he is going to fail and i leave a ‘bad personality’ i’ve trained to be a ‘good one’ it isn’t good for you and every one and every thing else. Is it? I’d like feedback or comments if you please instead of likes as for me this is important and i would be ever so honored and thankful to receive a comment in your words in response to my having gone to all this trouble to write this out. Do you think you have it in yourself to write me just a note back on this and this one alone. I’d like that. I would. Surprise me. Thanks. Franklin for Michael and The and His Dream! — Only One In This Body — !! me March 8, 2017 Wednesday Night Folks, Wednesday Nite!