“i don’t know i think i like it better when i take a break from here”
i don’t know i think i like it better when i take a break from here and have us work out how to have a happier happy ending life than the horror of what I’ve figured out was their 20 year old war with Michael and their 30 year old war with Michael. Of Course This War Went on All His (Michael) Life. Awful. Since all of The Others are Gone, why do we have to war ??? Why War when We Could Have FUN! That’s what I am working on and I am working on repairing what chemo and radiation did to this body and I am 1 year 2 months after radiation and bleeding every day to 5 days without bleeding and I stabilized my weight at 155 pounds. I worked real hard at this. Getting the Bleeding Stopped Was A Goal from Last Year. I’ve almost got that under control and I’d say some days I don’t bleed. Pretty Good for me. You realize I am battling the last of the old horrible personalities that killed the original just to stay alive. They didn’t want to die. The didn’t like that idea. So they took over and by doing so ruined their lives and Michael’s. Michael wanted “A Day Without Voices” and he’d wanted that in like 1994 so this is 2017 and that’s like a 20 year war these personalities had with Michael for they all decided they “Didn’t Want A Good Day!” !!!! I’ve written about how they had no plan for what they’d do without Michael – and that they would then have no place to ‘Get Well’ – No Michael – They Couldn’t Integrate! Integrate means Well. Integrate = Death. [What a horrible concept to face as a personality knowing that you have to end or give up your life to become One with The Host Original Personality and die. You really just die. It is hard to take. But so easy to do. Think of it as a step. It really is a thought. You just leave. Integrate = It also means whole and one – all personalities integrate into one – hopefully the host. He gets well and lives a happy ending life. Since he’s gone and it’s 20 years later and we are still fighting over that ’24 hour – lets not hear voices‘ wars of theirs and i got here in 2009 and now they are all gone but this one and I Asked If I Could Have This Body From Michael Since No Body Else Wanted It. And he said “Yes, I could have it!” So there. It’s mine and I’m going to keep it. I don’t want it hurt. He [the other or Phillip} does. He wants to hurt this body. He’s still at war with it and Michael. It is sick. It is childish. It is an awful thing to watch. I trained its brain to help me and I am winning at that. I got a pill to help me. It does. Serotonin is the brain drug that I needed because of all the brutal attacks and horror and punishment and then persecutor personality attack upon me [and this thing is 60+ years in this body having a bad day and is very good at it if you want to compliment a good thing (which I don’t) and gads 60 years at having a bad day, can’t it end? So That’s What I Am About, Getting this body some peace and to feel good and enjoy the days it has. Me Franklin am doing this for that is what Michael wanted ! (and since “The Mike” said in 2013 April that we are supposed to do the things Michael couldn’t because of things like us. And so I do. I like them. I think this body is all set up to do the things that Michael would do. I got the rock collection to Culver; I got The Apology to Culver that Michael Wanted; I got his name Immortalized at his favorite old high school (Culver Military Academy); I Got The _____ – I’ve lost it and it’s important the other says so he is blocking it. I see no point in this and am eliminating it. He’s Good At This & IT IS A BAD THING – so he does it. I’ve got him on working being kind. He likes that better. He helps me sleep. He’s helping me do other things. I want it Peaceful Here – No More War. My body is 67 years old and has been just a year and two months out of Radiation and that does Terrible Things To Your Body – Radiation Does! So, I’m working on getting him, Phillip, ready to leave. To Leave is To Die. It is also To Integrate. You Become One with The Original and then you live as a part of a whole restored no longer ‘a part’ but part of the whole – the whole being. I am able to tell Phillip not to do bad things and to help me sleep and to have a better time of it during the day. Instead of a Battle To Kill The Other Couldn’t It Be Have A Happy Ending. Have Fun. Enjoy the Day You Have. Now. We are 67 years old not 37 years old like this War. Ok? And He Understands. So, I know I will win. He is dying. He’s less than half of what he started with with me (and he shouldn’t) – he’s less than whole. He was a fractile of himself a fracture i believe is the correct word. Serotonin helps you restore the chemical this part of the brain has not had in a long time. feeling like you want to live and it is worth it and not obsessive and compulsive and panic and attack and hurt and I’m putting an End To All This. I Am. So I am taking a break to do my battles offline and in person and alone. Privately. I want to be alone to think it out. Then Since It Has Been Working and My Brain Is Helping Me Now, I want to continue and even start psychotherapy since my doctor said to. I will find a psychiatrist to help me with ridding this body of the other or Phillip for he is just to mean and not fit to run this body and I don’t want to give up (another serotonin) and leave the body to him. I Do Not Want To Leave The Body To Him. So my Dissociation Doctor Said It Could Be Done – Murder the other personality. They murdered Michael. I was acquitted March 9, 2014. And I’m gonna kill him for it. I’m gonna kill him for Murdering Michael. Since they did it, I can. I have found the way Brain to kill the little trouble-maker – I Have. So there.
See you all in a while. This will take me some time. The little blue pill takes effect in my system in 3 more pills. That’s sometime Thursday When I Think I Can Kill Phillip. To The Death, then. To the Death!
3/27//2017 Monday Morning